she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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