When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
