if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
