I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
