Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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