is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
