i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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