he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize