What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
