I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize