If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
