hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
