I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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