That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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