I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i think my cat just said my name.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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