Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize