hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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