I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You are a genius and a whore.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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