Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
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The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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