apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
