This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
