Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
