Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
