M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's the barista slut.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
