so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
