how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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