You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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