areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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