Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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