A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There r osticjed everywhere
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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