So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
