yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
