hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
