i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
