Three words: puerto rican gang bang
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
