Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
