White coat. Heels.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
