If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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