Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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