Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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