Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
