no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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