he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize