My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
