I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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