Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
