It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
