the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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