yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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