I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Randomize
