Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
