Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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