Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
