This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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