Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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