using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize