pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
