i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
