please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
